HO HO HO!!!!!!!!!!
Merry Christmas and all that jazz!!
This is just a quick shot-out to all of our amazing family, friends, and avid blog followers. We love each and every one of you and can't thank you enough for your support and love. It can be super tough travelling at times and it always perks up our day when we think of you guys! We hope that all of you snowmen and snowwomen had a spectacular Christmas, even though there are a few of you (you know who you are), that should be getting coal in their stockings. he he he
     

We spent an incredibly awkward Christmas on the beach in Byron Bay, Australia. There was no snow, no snowmen, no Santa, Rudolph, or stockings. We had no presents to open, no egg frickin nogg, no mistletoe kisses, no family(other than Ducky and us), no cranberry sauce, no Christmas tree, no creepy little elves, or Christmas decorations. However, what we got instead was quite dreadful actually. . . (we make it sound bad, but the bad parts always seem so much more interesting than the candy coated shit, right?)

We arrived at our absolutely disgusting backpacker hostel and wanted to cry, literally. Due to high season, and an overabundance of greasy, grimy, smelly, backpackers (we are no longer in the "backpacker" category, please refer to us only as Savvy Nomads), we had no other option but to stay in this hellhole disguised as a hostel. My Lord people. . . REALLY. REALLY??

      It was a full on marsh, equipped with pond scum and all. It was difficult to distinguish between the actual pond scum and the people staying there. Unbelievable. It was like visting the elephant exhibit at the zoo. Yuck!!! The refridgerators were so overflowing with nasty food that they started to leak and raw chicken, YES!, raw chicken juice was dripping on the floor, paired with rotten milk, melted butter, rotting fruit, and an array of other types of truly disgusting shit, that were to difficult to decipher.  There was no cutlery to be found and the can opener had black mold all over it!!!!! Everything was closed so we were forced to use this kitchen to cook in!!!!

     We are still recovering from it. Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. . . 

As gnarly as it seems, we somehow managed to pull it off and have a quite delightful Christmas dinner. Sure, sure. . .   Truth be told, our biggest issue was not with our hostel, but  with the dissapearance of Ducky!!!         

     He left us on Christamas Eve and decided to go party with some people he met on the beach. We were livid and told him that he must stay at home with us. . . Enough is enough already!. . . But, Ducks will be Ducks and he went out anyway! Bad Ducky!

 He had no idea that we had already planned a Christmas intervention with Russell the Ohana Bear. Russell was ready to intervene, but Ducky was nowhere in sight! 

     Brad went looking for Ducky and ran into this restaurant owner in China Town.

     "Oh No" he exclaimed! I saw that ducky and thought he would make an excellent Peking Duck Salad, so. . .  I kidnapped him and tried to serve him to my guests, but he ran away! "So Sorry my friend!"

    Brad decided to let Ducky have his space, and we hoped that he would be OK. . .

Alas, Ducky made it home safely on Christmas morning, but we wanted to hear the story from him. . .  so here is Ducky's Xmas adventure, told by Ducky Himself. . .

Hi friends, Ducky here! Quack Quack.

I'm sick and tired of Sam and Brad making me out to be an alcoholic. I'm just having fun while travelling, isn't that what Duckies do? Do you think Donald was sober all of the time? Sam and Brad told me not to go out on Xmas eve, but I knew that there was tons of fun to be had, and besides, that hostel was freaking nasty. I thought I was going to get Salmonella just being there! So I packed up all of my important party items: cell phone, notebook and pen (for late night booty calls), lighter and smokes, and my cool shades! Plus I took a fifty-spot from Brad's wallet. Thanks B-Rad. Now I was ready to PARTY!!!

On the way out of the swamp hole (aka Hostel), I ran into this bloke named Rastaguana. He seemed cool enough and offered me an Xmas toke. Why not, I mean it was Xmas. . .  After we sparked up a fattie, had a few laughs, and we were lit up like a couple of christmas trees (no pun intended), I asked him for directions to the beach. I'm not sure exactly what he was trying to say, his thick Iguanan accent was certainly confusing, but I sure hope it wasn't his intention to send me to China Town. Beacause they sure do love their Duck there!

As I stumbled down the street I noticed this cardboard looking man lurking after me and creepily whispering "here ducky ducky ducky. .  ."

     Next thing I knew I was stuffed beak first into a brown paper bag and immediatley felt my oh so high world crashing in on me. What have I got myself into????

SAM!! BRAD!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Think fast think fast. Good luck I've been travelling around with two Savvy Nomads who happen to know a thing or two about these such situations. I though to myself what would Brad do?

Play Dead!    So, I was lying there playing dead and the chef cried  "Dat Duck had heart attack! Let jut put him in salad and charge people double cause he made outta rubba!! You  know how hard it is to get raw rubba in Ausatralia, what a delicacy!"

He looked away for an instant and I made my move. I lept off the table and waddled my ass out of there as fast as possible! Whooooeeee!!!!

I was sweaty and out of breath when I ran into this kooky looking dude dancing around in the streets. "What's the matter little man?" he sang. I explained my situation and he said that the only solution was to accompany him to the Pub for an icy cold brewsky and some quality people watching. He admitted it was a genuine Austrailian pastime. Thank God for weirdos named Dave who don't wear matching socks!

Off to the pub!

We shared stories about life and I explained to him how I was new to the party scene. That was all it took. He made it his mission to introduce me to things (and people) I never knew were possible for a Ducky!
Thanks Dave!
     As the night progressed it began to get creepier and creepier by the minute. One second I was enjoying my glass of Sauv Blanc, than the very next I was observing clothespin nipple clamps! Wow, freaky shit I say.

Dave introduced my to this girl, let's just call her Suzie ( rymes with. . . ) Suzie confessed that she has always had a fettish for Rubber Duckies. I was slightly intoxicated and my beer goggles were definitely playing tricks on me, but I figured, what the hell??! Let's just, how do I say. . . dive in?

I'm telling you this broad was rather persuasive and it wasn't long before she made me into her own  clothespin bondage slave. Ouch! Geez woman, how many fettishes do you have????

I went along with it of course. . . solely to amuse her. I mean it was kinda degrading, but kinda kinky too. It was getting late and I decided that for the benefit of my own pride, I would put the camera away for the evening. XXX

It was extraordinary and I arrived home in the wee hours of the morning. . .

    Only to find a strange Bear sipping tea with Sam and Brad. OH NO!!!! Have they replaced me already?? As I cautiously approached, they welcomed me with open arms and showered me with Christmas joy and laughter, and then dropped the bomb on me.

      "Ducky, this is Russell the Ohana Bear. He is an Interventionist and is here to help you." Honestly, I didn't put up a fight. I really missed them last night and I am ready to clam down. . . slightly, if only for a hot minute. Plus, on the way in I checked out Russell's bag and saw that he had a flask of Bourbon in it. Oh yes, Russell and I will become close for sure. . .

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!! LOOK OUT NEW YEARS EVE. . . HERE WE COME!

Love from all of us on Christmas from the Vegemite capital of the world, Sammy, B-Rad, Ducky and Russell!

Check out our youtube Christmas video that we made just for you guys at 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA-oxkPlaP8

Christchurh, New Zealand, Melbourne and Sydney, Australia

December 4-23, 2009
     G'day mates!
Wow, where do we begin? Where we left off I suppose. . .
Let's just say we ended our New Zealand trip with a bang! Our festivities included, but were certainly not limited to: braking a toilet at the hostel, drunken karaoke at a private club with locals (Bohemian Rhapsody, Sister Christian, and much much more, Brad even had his karaoke debut and he was fabulous!!), dancing with a Will Farrell look-a-like, lots of late night french fries, meat pies ( don't ask), and crazy walks home. It was super awesome and highly entertaining. But alas, our time in New Zealand was up and we are now rocking it out  in Sydney, having the time of our lives!!! But let's take you a wee bit back to the day our arrival in lovely Australia.

We were sad to leave the SS MacPherson behind, but happy to finally be out of New Zealand and in into the outback. . .  Australia that is. Whooopppeeee!!! New beginnings, warm weather, heaps of kangaroos, cockatoos, crocodiles, koala bears, lizards, snakes, bats, spiders, weird people, vegemite, dingos, beaches, and incredibly horrific outfits ( I mean really, really  horrific, puke worthy for sure). We arrived in Melbourne and we decided to give couchsurfing another shot. An incredibly nice and generous man named Paul decided to take us in to his cozy home. Paul is awesome!!! He is what couchsurfing is all about. He even made nachos for us, he surely knows the way to my heart! After settling into our room he peeped his head in and said" you guys want to see some kangaroos???" Are you kidding me?? I have been dreaming all of my life of the day I would actually be in Austarilia and see a wild  kangaroo!  He took us to a golf course by his house that was just loaded with kangaroos and their babies. It was truly an experience for us and we can't thank him enough for it. Thanks again Paul, you rock!!!

We stayed with Paul for 6 days and toured around the amazing city of Melbourne. Delicious gourmet foods, heart warming wines, tasty chocolatey treats, and tons of sights to see. . .  we had a blast. Melbourne is a truly remarkable city, and was a nice warm up for Sydney, which happens to be our new favorite city in the world ( we love love love Sydney!), but we'll get to that in a minute. Hold on to your diapers folks! While we were in Melbourne, Paul suggested to us that we rent a car and drive The Great Ocean Road, he claimed it was a "must see", boy was he right!!!!!
     The Great Ocean Road is about a ten hour scenic drive along the southern coast of Australia from Melbourne to Port Fairy. Words simply cannot describe the beauty of this drive and the breathtaking scenery we experienced (all while Brad was driving on the opposite side of the road, and using an ass- backward stick shift. Go Brad!). This jaw dropping drive was one of the most amazing drives we have ever taken and we highly recommend it to anyone travelling to Australia!

That's me in the corner. That's me in the spot light. . .

     We have been having such a tremendous time in Austraila. We LOVE it here and are just taking in every day. We are so grateful and feel so fortunate to be able to travel and to expereience all that the world has to offer. However, we are getting slightly homesick, especially at the thought that we will be sleeping in a Teepee on the beach on Christmas!     We miss all of you!!

 

Heaps and heaps and heaps of Kangaroos! Brad wanted to get out his boxing gloves and go head to head with a kangaroo. Suri boot it, no go so B-Rad.

We saw these birds while driving the Great Ocean Road, so we pulled over, and Whammo! They flew right on top of our car. How cute!

This liitle guy is sooo adorable that I wanted to snatch him up and put him in my backpack. I named him Frankie, and I think he likes you.

The big happy couch surfing family! Paul, Brad, me, and the two puppies, Montie and Mollie!

Beware of these signs.  If you see one, run! It means that there are several tourists in the area. Creepy!

Fancy an up close and personal encounter with a Koala?? He's yawning, how silly. Silly bear. We named him Earl, and I think he likes you too.

Just in case the cars coming directly at you aren't enough of a reminder. . .

The Twelve Apostles, Great Ocean Road. Nuff said.

OK, so here's where the story gets good. That's me drinking free champagne at a clothing store in Sydney!! Yes, the Aussies got it right for sure. Get the ladies all lit up, then let them loose in the store. I'm liking it, but  my happiness was short lived; I saw the price tag on the dress that I wanted. . . let's just say I would need at least a case of free champagne or an American Express Black card to even consider buying it, but thanks for the champagne!

My husband got jealous of the free champagne, so he bought himself the new Audi. He He He

Fancy Connect Four anyone? Stevo?

OK, I'm scared. Kangaroos are cute, cuddly, and fun. Why would you want to eat them? They actually do eat them here. How sad. It's weird and I told Brad that if he ever ate one the big D- word would be coming his way soon. LOL

Ahhhh the Sydney Opera House. How gorgeous it that??!!!!

Sydney at night!

One of my favorite pics!

Didgeridoos are cool. We just had to buy the Cd!

Ducky has lost his marbles. We caught him at a Foam Party in Sydney with a bunch of other under age duckies! We called in an interventionist. His name is Russell the Ohana Bear and he is a pilot trained in helping rubber duckies who are out of control. Russell will make his first appearance in the next blog!

Also- look forward to a story that I am putting together about our terrifying experience when we stayed in an insane asylum for a night while in New Zealand. We are almost too scared to talk about it, but we will, for your entertainment of course. Love, from the land of people who eat kangaroos, Sambo and B-Rad

South Island, New Zealand, November 24-December 4, 2009

     Open mouth. Insert size 10 women’s shoe inside mouth. Cringe. Feel terribly bad. Single tear. Apologize to New Zealand for the harsh words of the last blog. Smile and thank New Zealand for her forgiveness.
     Ok, ok, so I was horrifically wrong. New Zealand is not overrated at all. Overpriced, yes, but definitely NOT overrated. In the past week we have truly experienced some of the most spectacular scenery that we have ever encountered, and we owe it all to New Zealand. After a long and exhausting trek, I had a moment with this beautiful country and all of her wonders. I finally gave in and thought . .this isn't that bad after all. .
    Franz Josef Glacier is an Ice Age materpiece. Simply marvleous darling.  We were expecting it to be quite chilly, but as you can see, the sun is out and it's warm enough to be outside without a snowsuit on. Yippeeee! The hike to the glacier was through the receding glacier channel, and was tricky yet manueverable. The only thing missing? Ice pics and crampons for B-rad.  

  To Queenstown from the Franz Josef and Fox Glaciers we meandered our way through the mountains and into the wild wild west (or so it seemed. . . ). The Cardrona Hotel was a unique bit of history combined with a timeless appeal of sex. Just seeing if you are paying attention. He he he : )

    We aren't old are we?

     I only say this because after spending a day in the adrenaline charged city of Queenstown I felt my true age of 27.  Hello? Where did the crazy skydiving, scuba diving, mountain climing, thrill-seeking junkies we all know as Sam and Brad go?? They must have hid somewhere very far away and I am ashamed of them. We were in the presence of every adventure sport in the world, literally right at our fingertips. . . Bungy jumping off of everything and anything, skydiving, canyoning, and a ton of other almost obscene concoctions, but we chose. . . drum roll please. . . horseback riding. Yes folks, I said it. You heard me correctly. Horsebackriding. But, I must warn you, this was not your ordinary horsebackriding trip.

As everyone knows, The Lord of the Rings was filmed in NZ, and this horseback riding trip advertised that it would take us to the place where they filmed several parts of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Series. At first we were sceptical, but decided that if they kept their promise this could very well be one of those "once in a lifetime experiences", so we booked it, and it was.

The trip was so epic words simply cannot describe it. We lied and said that we were experienced riders, so they put us in the advanced group. There was only four of us and our guide. Our guide gave Brad the most difficult horse ". . . because Brad has the most experience. . . "he he. We just looked at eachother with a wee bit of panic and thought it's only horsebackriding, how crazy could it get?

I almost fell off, Brad almost fell off, we were laughing so hard snot was coming out of both of our noses. We cantored and cantored and our butts slowly became numb to the bouncing up and down on the hard leather saddle. Then our guide said" who's ready to gallop through the fields?" That was all it took. Saying the word gallop in front of a horse is like saying the word walk in front of a dog. We didn't have time to answer, our lovely horses answered for us an in an instant we became jockeys on the race track and we were floating over the grass in a full on gallop. It felt like flying actually. Who needs bungy jumping, seriously. That gave us more of a natural high and adrenaline rush than we ever could have imagined. It was so extremely senational I only hope that I get to do it again soon, very soon.

     The scenery was stuff that dreams are made of. There was a point that I looked back at Brad and started to cry. . . it was that beautiful. This was one of the best experiences that we have ever had. We had to cross the river in the valley several times and our guide explained that the river bed changes daily and we need to be very careful of quick sand. Was he joking? Apparantly, because this river is in a glacier bed it is very unique. In fact, there are only two other rivers in the world that experience the same type of activity, i.e, quicksand and other, not-so-fun things. He checked the first crossing and immediatly his horse started to sink. OH NO!!! ATREYU! ATREYU!! Where's Valcor when you need him?. . .

Eventually we found a safe crossing and only managed to get slightly wet. It was a day for the record books. We will dream of it often.

Next we were off to the Milford Sound. Which is not actually a sound at all, it's a fjord, but I won't bother you with the technicalities of fjords and sounds, I actually want to keep you awake. We splurged and opted for a boat cruise through the fjord, and it was worth it! We won't tell you how much we paid, but we will say that we saw several types of endangered birds, including penguins, alpine parrots, and guinea pigs. lol. Sea lions also made several guest appearances. The steep cliff faces dropped dramatically into the black ocean. Cascading waterfalls everywhere. Yes, oh yes, new Zealand is FAR from overrated.

Brad taking in the serenity of a waterfall on one of our various hikes through  enchanted forests.

Thanksgiving was rough for us. We were both incredibly homesick and tired of the wet, cold rain. We bought a bottle of champagne and decided that we were going to go out and treat ourselves to a wonderful meal, being Thanksgiving and all. Well, we started playing Yahtzee, and lost track of time. We were starving so we headed out to town. Of course, all of the resaturants were closed, except. . . Furgburger. I thought is said Furburger and almost shat myself. So, Furgburger it was. Nice freaking Thanksgiving. I want cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, tofurkey and MY FAMILY!!!!! We have had many adventures in NZ, and here are just a few photos for your enjoyment.

Mirror lakes, South Island

This is me holding a rare and highly endangered land octopus, only found in New Zealand coastal areas.

The southernmost tip of New Zealand. If you look closely you can see Antartica in the background. You can certainly feel it.

Just in case you need to do any revamping Mom. . . he he he ha ha ha

Ducky feels bad that we are spending so much money and he confided in me that he wanted to help the family out. I insisted that it wasn't neccessary, but Brad thought he should start contributing at least to the beer fund.

Ducky was gone for days. When he finally returned( I think he was hungover, but I am not sure), he exclaimed "I got a job modeling!"

So, Ducky is now a model. Awesome. Go, Ducky!! Show us the money!!!

Hopefully he won't get any complexes, you know how those model types are.

Love to you all from the land of hobbits, orcs, sheep, and cows- Sam and Frodo