Vang Vieng, Laos February 22-26, 2010

OK folks, strap yourselves in. . . it's going to be one heck of a ride!!!

This is going to be a very different blog entry than you have become accustomed to. . . I'm not even going to try to be reserved. . . no holding back. . . no restraint for the benefit of the readers, if it becomes just too wild for your taste, go read another blog. he he he. Throughout the blog I will post links to youtube, where I posted the videos we took from that day. It is in your best interest to watch them all, to get a better idea. . .
There is only one way to describe our tubing adventure in Vang Vieng. . . INDESCRIBABLE!!!! I'm not going to bore you with semantics, nor will I even attempt to recreate one of the best days of my life, all I can offer you is some barbaric details and allow your imagination to run rampant with them. . . believe me, whatever you are able to imagine will not even come close to what actually transpired that hot and sticky February day in Vang Vieng, Laos. So, let's skip all of this bull shit, and to quote our beloved Brit friend Rave the Dave. . . "Here we fu*king go!!!"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAzwNXrkfvw

The air was heavy and the sweat was continiously  dripping down our bodies as we waited in anxious anticipation for the Tuk Tuk to take "The Crew"  to the river. To refresh your memory there are 10 members of "The Crew" that we formed in Laos. We all became close rather quickly and shared some of the most amazing times together! "The Crew" consits of Sambo "Laos dancer", B-Rad "Crazy Mofo", James "Monkey Boy", Sat "Cradle robbing kissing bandit minx", Fanny "Sexbomb", "Rave the Dave", Mika "Broom Man", Mario "Teetotaller", Francie"Scotslover", and Pedro"The Boss". What an amazing group of people!!!! We love all of you guys!

When we arrived at the tube rental shop a grumpy man promtly grabbed my arm, wrote the number 57 on it, and asked me to sign my name and number in his paperwork. I figured this was for them to be able to identify what innertube goes with whom, but when I cheerfully asked him he replied" The number is so we can identify you in case something happens to you, or if you don't come back." Um, wow, that really creeped me out. I have heard stories about how insanely out of control this "tubing" is, but nothing, I repeat, nothing prepared me for what I was about to experience. . .

Our first glimpse of the river is in this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGasfwzDq80

My first impression of the river was complete and total awe. I sat there with my mouth open for about one full minute before I screamed "Holy F-ing Shizer" this place is nuts! It was as if we entered Peter Pan's "Never Never Land". This adult only playground was more sinful than Vegas, more dangerous than eating raw meat in Thaliand, and more fun than anything I have ever done!

There are a few things I should explain to you about Tubing in Vang Vieng. . . First, they sell alcohol in large buckets, then fill it with Red Bull ( the really really strong kind), and pop a handfull of staws in it, and away you go. They also offer FREE whiskey shots at every bar, and one bar even had a 20 foot "Whiskey Bong". Um, yeah, OK. There are about 40 bars along the river and as you float, swim, or scream by, there is always someone ready to throw you a line to pull you into there bar. Next, there are ziplines, swings, and trapeze's tempting you at every corner. There are no safety regulations in Laos, and I could not believe how freaking crazy it all was. People were literally swinging 30, 40, and even 50 feet in the air only to be projectiled into the river waitng below. And doing back flips off of platforms that were at least 60 feet high!  You have to see it to believe it! Mika decided to go first. . . watch him go in this video   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gppM06F0P8

Of course Brad and I were safe and responsible. No, really, we were! I wasn't about to get hurt, or hurt someone else, so we limited our drinking a wee bit. I can't say the same for the rest of "The Crew". But we had so much fun people watching I could have stayed there for days. . .

Me, Francie and Fanny partying it up at the first bar!

Yes, we brought Ducky, He was out of control. Drinking buckets, ziplining with a naked baby. . . Wow.

Oh, Dave, we miss you so. Rave the Dave is one of the most spirited and hilarious people we have ever encountered. Every minute spent with him was filled with laughter. . . especially when his alter ego "Rave the Dave" comes out. Look out, this Brit is Loco!!!! "Here we fu*king go!!!"

After watching Mika try the trapeze I felt it was time for me to release my inner adventure child and give it a go. It. Was. Awesome. Watch me if you dare. . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSteONiESTk

Brad and James deemed it necessary to show their devotion to their new-found friendship by taking the plunge together!!! Crazy boys. . . tricks are for kids!

I love Ducky and Ducky loves me, especially when I share my bucket with him!

Tube, drink, swing, jump, dance. . .  repeat.

Ok, sure.

Sat and I have a great love and respect for one another. . . that's why I am posting this video of her http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UVfZvXkt_0

You really, really must watch it.

James "Monkey Boy" got his nickname because he will climb up anything and jump off. Not just jump. . .  flip, twist, dive, whatever. He's a freaking lunatic, but he's an Aussie,. . . what did you expect :) Watch this video and you'll understand. . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDdD6WQlfu4 and another crazy one. . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8qrYe0o66U

Best time in my life!

The Boss, Rave, and Crazy Mofo.

OK, I think I finally reached heaven. Tubing, cocktails, great friends, and what??? What???? A microphone that was handed to us when we got to the bar? I was in pure heaven. Just give me a microphone and I turn into a rock star. Cauz I'm T N T, . . . Dynamite!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_uYn62rw2U

The last video is just a taste. . .watch Sat and I perform "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night" to a live crowd!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flDVpx17Sys

Me and my honey . . . Laughing our arses the entire day!

Pedro "The Boss" and Brad became instant buds and devolped a great friendship over the course of a few days. He is such an amazing guy and we are both so honored to meet him and truly hope that the friendship lasts forever. . . Who are we kidding, we know it will!! We are already planning a trip to England to see all of "The Crew" . . . Look out UK, "Here we fu*king go!!"

We hope you all take the time to watch the videos, we really feel they will enhance your blogging experience!

However, the party soon became an intense reality (I'm not even going to go into detail about me walking upstream, slightly intoxicated, looking for my husband). Everything was fun and games until we realized that we were the only people on the river. It was getting dark and we still had 3 km's (1.86 miles) to float. The river suddenly became silent. The karst formations were quiescent and became super sexy in the twilight. . . However, I thought how are we going to get back?
It was getting darker by the minute. The Boss, Rave, Brad, and I were starting to get concerned. Then all of a sudden. . . it was dark. Like, dark dark. Can't see in front of your face dark. I was scared. The water was cold, I was in an innertube, floating down a river in a foriegn country, and I was instantly. . .  SOBER. What the hell are we going to do? Then, out of the mystic darkness, a voice called to us. . ." You guys need to get the hell out of the river!!!. . . We have a boat, come to the boat and we will drive you to the city." We were desperate and were so thankful for the angel that called to us in the darkness. We all piled on to the longtail boat (7 people), and cruised away, only. . . it wasn't that easy.
The water was shallow, we were too heavy, and alas. . . the boat sank. Yup, sank. We all had to get out and bail out all of the water. I mean, it was crazy, but it just added to the ludicracy of the entire situation. Eventually (we sank twice), we made it to our destination. . . kind of. He abruptly stopped in the middle of the river and told us to get out. We had to wade in the river to get ashore. It was icky and mucky and our feet were sinking in the yuckiness (I lost my sandles, sunglasses, and other vaious items throughout the day). It was the best day ever!!!! Hope you enjoyed the ride, I know we did.

Love from the most fun place on Earth, Sambo" Laos Dancer", and Brad " Crazy Mofo"