Wellington, Marlborough Wine Country (Renwick), Nelson, Abel Tasman National Park November 17-22, 2009   

The ugly side of things. . .
Well, well, well. . . Aside from pretty much catching the worst weather almost everywhere in New Zealand ( freezing cold rain, rain, and ah yes, more rain), and getting our butts handed to us in the funds department, NZ is finally starting to show us a sneak peek at a few of the reasons why we came to this over-priced, and slightly overrated country in the first place. I realize that this sounds harsh, but remember, we are only speaking from personal experience. However, here are a few tips for those thinking of coming to New Zealand.

 - Bring lots and lots of money. I mean tons. Sure, it may be the adventure capital of the world, but you WILL pay top dollar for every single activity. Even if you want to park your overpriced campervan somewhere for the night. Here are a few examples: kayaking in a national park will run you $145.00 per person, for a 2 hour trip. Mountain bike rentals anywhere between $55-100 a day. Skydiving- forget about it, believe me, you can’t afford it. Quad biking- $150-200 per person for 2 hours. Fancy a dip in the natural hot springs? Sure, for a fee of $25, no problem. But oh, for a mere $200.00 a person you can swim with dolphins in the freezing cold ocean. How about a case of Coke? For that price it should be the Colombian kind. . . Or you can try the ever-so-famous bungee jumping. Now I really wouldn’t want to compromise safety, but I didn’t realize that it was sooo pricey. I’m not trying to sound bitter but we really want to stress the importance of researching before you go. . . So you don’t end up like us. Broke, wet, grumpy, and fat from all of the potatoes and rice we are eating to save money.
     We truly thought we would beat the system by renting a campervan and living in it. Well, we are definitely living in it, but it is costing us!! We rented the van for 28 days and figured the money that we spent on the van would be saved because we would camp out in the wilderness every night for free. Sorry, not happening. Sure, you can pull over on the side of the road and hope that you don’t get harassed by pissed off locals, but I’m over that noise. Most of the campsites are called “Holiday Parks”, by this they mean “ Park your campervan on our lot and we will charge you $35 a night”. So at this point we are paying $65 a day for the camper, $35 dollars a night to park the damn thing, anywhere from $50-$100 a day for gas. Oh yeah, didn't I mention that gas is twice as much here? Not to mention the one way rental fee, and the huge fee to cross the ferry ($250) from the North Island to the South Island. You do the math. . . That is all without including the price of food, or God forbid we actually want to partake in one of the activities listed above, or grab a beer at a pub. A good beer will run you $11.00 for a bloody PINT!!!! Yikes!!!!!!!!! I am not even going to go into detail about the sandflies. . . I will just say that they are everywhere, and to give you an idea about how aggressive they are, they are even attacking my husband. Yes folks, I must admit I find it hilarious because he finally knows what I have been going through my whole damn life! A true quote from Brad “ Sam, these bites really itch don’t they?” “Be quiet Brad, you only have one. I have fifty-six.”
Trust me, we are not cynics, and we are truly sorry for the rant. It’s just a little frustrating because we are well aware of how far the US dollar goes in other countries. Now that I got that off my unreasonably small chest ( he he he), let’s talk about the wonders of this truly beautiful country.

 The Beauty of it all. . .

     There is no wonder why they chose to film Lord of the Rings here. Ascetically, this country is really THAT amazing. Sweeping neon green pastures, lush forests, hobbits everywhere (I kid, I kid), cascading waterfalls, thousands of acres of National Parks, seascapes that will blow your socks off, mountains, lakes and rivers galore, and an endless supply of sheep, cattle, and birds. Which reminds me. . . I met a new best friend yesterday. He is a Llama and I named him Alf cause he looked just like him! He came right up to me and let me pet him.. .  It was a moment of sincere bliss for both of us. Well, maybe the apple I gave him had something to do with it.

Back to it-  So, what have we been doing other than complaining and eating you say? Let’s pick up where we left off, in Wellington.
Wellington has a fantastic art and theatre scene. Very beatnik and eclectic. We love to watch live local theatre so we decided to go see a very off the wall play called “The Death and Dreamlife of Elephants” at BATS Theatre. It was amazingly cool, slightly weird, and ultimately confusing.It reminded us of the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. We left the theatre not sure of what had just happened, but we knew we liked it. Liked it a lot I say. Then we slept in our van parked on the side of the road in the middle of the ghetto. OK, that was a joke Mom 1 and Mom 2.
We crossed the Cook Island Strait on the ferry and it was truly a breathtaking experience. It is said to be one of the most beautiful ferry rides in the world, and we can see why. It was lovely and we actually had sun for the entire ride. Yippeeeeee!!!!! Then we were off to Marlborough Wine Country, FINALLY!!!!!!! (I have been waiting for this for weeks!)

Everyone who knows us knows how much we love wine. With both of us being in the hospitality industry forever, we have genuinely developed a genuine passion and respect for wine. A visit to the Marlborough Wine Region to us is like a visit to Disneyland for a five year old. Get it? It is one of the most respected wine regions in the world hosting hundreds of spectacular wineries. The best part. . . They all give FREE wine tastings. What, you may say? Yes, free wine tastings. We were in heaven. At least something is free here, and it’s my favorite thing ever. The VINO!!!!! The catch? The tastings are free, but how are you going to get there? Well, there are several places that offer a guided winery tours for a few hundred bucks, but we like to consider ourselves savvy. Savvy Nomads that is. So what did we do? We rented bikes for the day and started early.

We started with the furthest one, smart move I might say, then worked our buzzed way back to town. It was one of the best times we have had on this trip. Beautiful wines, adorable boutique wineries, and we even made friends along the way. It’s amazing what a lil’ wine will do for you socially. LOL. Good times, seriously. Vino Vino and more Vino, then a very deep sleep that makes you forget you are in a campervan in a parking lot. Next move: Abel Tasman National Park.

Side note:
I forgot to mention that our van doesn’t get any radio stations and it only has a cassette player. Really? Really? After weeks of my horrific make-shift karaoke sessions in the car Brad truly had enough. He pulled over at a Salvation Army Store, ran in, and came out with a dilapidated cassette tape from the 1970’s. It’s a compilation cassette with over 20 local NZ artists, and with song titles like “Computer Dater”, and “Grandad’s Piano”, we new we were in for a some serious audio orgasms. “Computer Dater” turned out to be our favorite.
Back to it:
Abel Tasman National Park is gorgeous. We are both seriously out of shape but somehow figured we would try to tackle the 18 mile loop to Anchorage Bay and back. . . in one day. On foot. In the fog. We did it, and we are both still paying for it. I can finally now walk without looking like a total idiot, but Brad is still having problems getting in and out of the van. LOL! What a freaking workout that was, and we did t in only 9 hours!

  Don't ever forget to take time to stop and smell the roses

We are at a local coffee shop in Hokitika, (home of the original White Bait Pizza, er, yum???) right now, sipping on our long blacks, procrastinating because our next stop is the Franz Josef Glacier. And you all know how we feel about the cold at this point. Awesome. Let’s go to a glacier! He he he. Wait, is that what I think it is? The sun? Gotta go. The sun is peaking around the clouds. Who knows how long it will be here!

  Houston, I think we have a problem. . . We need your help!!!! Ducky is getting out of control. He tried to get a tattoo on his tail that said "I love Beer". What should we do? We heard about a great interventionist in the area. . .we are getting to that point. Any advice? 

Peace out and love from the home of “Computer Dater”- Alpha 1 and Beta 2