Sin City, Nevada. . .city of dreams, hookers, and . . . us.

One lonely rubber ducky found his way into our suitcase on the eve of our departure. Look out for the Ducky.

We have lived here for 2 ½ years and have observed some really weird things going on. We always hear “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas”, but our burning question is…What if you live here? We feel it’s our duty to share some thoughts on Vegas. We owe you that much! Vegas is awesome, creepy, crazy and just ridiculous. Here are a few prime examples:

• A gaming bar that puts up a huge banner out front that claims “FREE PISTOL TO ANYONE THAT GETS A ROYAL FLUSH”. Really? Really? OK, let’s get people shitfaced, take all of their money, and then give them a pistol. Awesome.
• Nowhere else in the world would you pay $600.00 for a bottle of Grey goose and think you got a sweet deal. If I pay that much, it better be loaded with pee pee from the Gods. Oh, wait…I think it is, maybe that’s why I am always praying to the porcelain Goddess?
  I have actually had people come to my bar and ask me the most ridiculous things I have ever heard; here are just a few examples… “Do you live here?” My answer to that question (I actually heard that question several times while working in Vegas), is “No, I actually live in Detroit, but I fly here every morning just to serve cocktails to intelligent people like yourself”. Another one is “any chance you would like to come up you my room for a drink?” My reply is “Of course, you are in luck because I moonlight as a prostitute” Really people? What about me making you a freaking martini makes you think that I want to sleep with you? Maybe it’s my Red Rock shake?
• The most insane thing that I ever heard was this drunk couple offered me to “videotape” them in their room. Gross, but kinda tempting. I just told them that they could just find a hooker to do it for much cheaper. What is wrong with people? And Oh, I do not do drugs, know anyone that does drugs, nor do I look like a crackhead. So, please stop asking me if I can find you any “party favors!!!”
• What you see is not what you get. The most popular Las Vegas slogan of “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”, should be changed to “move to Las Vegas, and for 10,000 dollars you can create your own private Alien”. And by alien I mean, the over-injected lips, inflated boobs, face lifts, eye lifts, cheek implants, butt implants,, veneers, hair extensions, gel tips, air- brushed tanned people, that are scarier than any horror film that I have ever seen. I actually ran into four of these aliens on my way into the post office and I almost pooped my pants. All I could think was “we are getting invaded!!!” What’s even scarier is that they actually think that they look good.
• Squirrels eating watermelon.
• Endless supply of porn, always creeping it’s way into our lives…
  
  
• The 75 year- old man walking around with a 22 year- old smoking hottie that is definitely not his granddaughter!! Eeeewwwwwwww. Yucky Mc Yuckerson and the Yuck hounds!
• Only in Vegas will you see a bartender work his/her ass off all night, just to pump every single dollar into the machine as soon as they clock out. Now that is just plain silly. (Or Brad sneaking in just 'one more' sports bet").
• Strip clubs, strip clubs, strip clubs, and the oh- so-famous Green Door
• Only in Vegas does Del Taco taste sooooo good.
  
  Now, there are a shit ton of crazies that live in Nevada, and I don’t just mean North Vegas. They are everywhere, especially the guy on Sahara and Fort Apache, but we still love you Las Vegas!
  On a serious note…We met so many wonderful people while we lived here and can’t thank you enough for all of your love and support! This is not goodbye, just a Fond Farewell!! LOL
  So please follow us as we venture around this spectacular world and we promise that we will not disappoint you.
  Love, from the most sinful place on Earth

- Savvy Nomad 1 and 2
Stay tuned for an amazing Kona, Hawaii blog. . .